I’m sick of therapy

Says the therapist who deeply loves the work, her clients and all the supervisees she’s trained over the last decade. Before you tear me a new one, allow me to expand on this.

I’m sick of how over-therapized we’ve become. It feels like so many of us are just slapping more labels on our feelings, our struggles, and our developmental protective strategies, and it’s not actually making us feel any better.

We’re pathologizing everything, forgetting our humanity and in turn, feeling more and more broken.

And listen, I love therapy. I love the magic that happens there. Truly, it’s fucking magical.

But therapy without community isn’t getting us where we need to go. It’s kind of like when I work out but then eat whatever I want IN EXCESS.

Let me be clear: I am not joining any bandwagon about what a “healthy” body should look like. There’s enough of that bullshit out there. Healthy bodies come in many glorious shapes and sizes. I’m just saying that when I eat copious amounts of sugar or dopamine foods without all the nutrient dense foods, my body feels messed up.

I cannot survive on crunchy Cheesies alone (though I wish I could). I need real food too and to also be moving this very curvy and stupidly cute body of mine.

That’s what helps me feel well in body, mind, and spirit. If I want to feel alive and vibrant, I can’t do one without the other.

Bottom line, it’s both.

But here’s where we get it wrong about healing. We think we have to do it in private little pods. Individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy. Tiny rooms with a therapist.

And I’m saying yes to that, plus community.

If you want to level up in love and in life, that’s the key. And while we’re at it, add some fun. Add some messiness. Add moments of deep connection. Add moments of clumsily learning how to repair. Add moments that stir you and make you reflect on your own growth and limitations.

We’re not going to get to the love we want unless we start living love out loud, in small, messy, real, authentic communities.

I’ve returned to my first love: storytelling. I believe it’s the most sacred way we connect as humans. Don’t take my word for it, listen to your being. Feel what happens in your body and soul when you listen to a good story, it’s fucking magical!

It helps us believe and hope again, and it reminds us there are fewer differences among us than we once thought.

I’m a dreamer, but one who’s willing to take risks. So I designed The Sunday Night Love Show. She’s still a baby, but I love her with everything in my heart.

And I’m not saying you have to do it this way. This is just my offering. Let your imagination soar. Dream up whatever kind of gathering makes your heart light up and do that. Please!

Because we’re not going to do all the healing we need in our tiny private pods. There’s more for us, babes. So much more.

But we have to get back to community to get there.